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with Jess Nelson, PairTree Community Manager & 2x Birth Mom
with Jess Nelson, PairTree Community Manager & 2x Birth Mom
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Coercion-Free Options
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Access to the Most Families
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Separate Legal Representation
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Power Over Your Own Process
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A Post Adoption Contact Agreement
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Lifetime Post-Placement Care
Adopting Families
Filter and find home study approved families.
In an open adoption, personality matters.
PairTree reveals the personalities of the adopting families – the leading indicator of how a family will behave – giving expectant and birth parents a values-based idea of what a future would be like.
JesterThe life of the party. Turning mundane into fun and enjoyable. Spontaneous, playful, and witty – with an emphasis on the here and now, bringing joy to the world through humor, fun, and irreverence.
RulerResponsible and organized – they can create order from chaos. Absolutely comfortable with volunteering to take charge. 'Rulers' have a significant respect for hard work, authority, and patriotism.
CreativeOften described as artists, creators and inventors. Prizes being completely and entirely original. Has lots of ideas and a powerful imagination. Driven to build things that add value to the World.
RomanticFeels all the feels. Committed & faithful. Passionate about everything they do – with attentive, intense, and very personal connections. They create intimate moments and inspire love. Likes to please others.
MagicianExcellent at identifying potential in people and situations. Bends over backwards to make everyone feel special, and to make dreams come true. Commonly referred to as visionaries and innovators.
RebelSwims against the current. Not afraid to think or act differently than societal norms. Questions status-quo. Often described as revolutionary, deriving power from the people. Free-minded and free-spirited.
ExplorerThese people seek authenticity find inspiration in travel, risk, discovery, and the thrill of new experiences. 'Explorers' seek a better world with an emphasis on the journey...
SageInformation fuels them. Excellent at research, often serving as a thoughtful mentor or advisor. Values wisdom and continuous learning. Committed to gain deeper insight and constantly building on their expertise.
NeighborThe friend you want. The 'neighbor’s' underlying value is that everyone matters. Seeks connections and belonging; is recognized as supportive, faithful and down-to-earth.
CaregiverOozes compassion, generosity, and a desire to help others. 'Caregivers' exhibit exponential concern and attention. Protects and cares for others – with unparalleled selflessness.
HeroMotivators. Possesses courage, ambition, and competence – with strong moral character. These people triumph over tragedy, and major challenges – often inspiring us all to make the world a better place.
InnocentValues the simple things in life. Loves traditions. Makes time for everyone. Guided by goodness, nostalgia, and wholesomeness. 'Innocents' exhibit happiness, optimism, safety, and youth.
Expectant Mom’s FAQ
Your questions, answered.
Do I get to choose the family? How do I know they’re safe?
+Yes! You have the right to direct access to as many families as you need to find exactly who you are looking for without pressure from anyone to choose a specific family. Your choice of families should not be dictated by the limited families available in the adoption professional’s immediate network. When you’re looking at family profiles, look for the Home Study Approved badge…this will let you know that a family has completed their home study by a licensed, ethical professional. A Home Study lets you know that the family you choose has completed extensive education, undergone rigorous background checks, participated in an interview process and had their home personally evaluated by a licensed professional.
Can I get help with expenses?
+When talking with adopting families on PairTree, be sure they know you need help. Financial assistance is a normal part of the process, and is regulated by State law. The law allows for assistance to pay for things like: pregnancy related expenses, living expenses while you’re pregnant, medical needs and counseling. The adopting family can put you in touch with their attorney or agency to start the process.
If you do not already have health insurance, you may qualify for Medicaid. An adoption service professional (like an attorney, social worker or agency) should be able to help you secure coverage, whether you ultimately decide to place or not.
Will my child know who I am?
+You can choose how much contact, if any, you would like to have with your child and his or her adoptive parents. The more honest and direct your relationship is with the adopting parents, the more flexibility you’ll have in this decision. Maybe you want to be very involved from the start, maybe you don’t know how much involvement you want, but want the option to decide later… the more honest you are about your feelings with the adopting parents, the better. To learn more about open adoption, check this out.
Are the adoptive parents going to be at the hospital?
+Part of your adoption plan will be to create a Hospital Plan. This will outline who you want at the hospital with you, how much time you want to spend with your baby in the hospital, who you want in the delivery room with you and even your baby’s name. It is completely up to you to decide who you want in the room with you during delivery and during your hospital stay. You can decide if the adoptive parents you have chosen can be at the hospital, or if you want that time for yourself. To learn more about a Birth Mother’s perspective on the hospital experience, check out this article.
What if the child’s father does not know and/or agree to the adoption?
+Tell the adopting parents you are connecting with right away. Their adoption agency or attorney must try their best to locate the expectant father and inform him of his rights. Expectant fathers’ rights vary from state to state. In some states the father may be required to be involved within a certain time frame to have parental rights and parent his child. If the expectant father supports the adoption and wants to be involved, he has a right to receive the same counseling and support as the expectant mother.
Jess Nelson
Community Manager at PairTree