Parenting or Adoption - One Birth Mom's Personal Thoughts

Parenting Pros

You have the opportunity to be a parent.
If this is something you’ve wanted for a long time, or currently want, then this is a huge pro. For people who want, and feel prepared, to parent, in can be one of the most rewarding experiences.

There are, in some areas, less decisions to make.
Of course parenting involves a million decisions. But, up front, you may be less overwhelmed with giant choices. Adoption plans involve a lot of choices, and important decisions.

Less questions & stigma from society.
We live in a world that, unfortunately, still isn’t sensitive towards topics of parenthood and adoption. You may feel more accepted & welcomed if you choose to parent.

The path is more straightforward.
Once again, parenting is very confusing! I'm not saying it’s simple. But it’s true that the path to adoption can be a bit more confusing & intimidating when you’re starting out.

Parenting Cons

The emotional cost, if you’re unsure.
If you feel forced into parenting, then the emotional cost can be immense for both you and the child. Being forced into any major life decision is harmful & unacceptable, but especially so when it comes to parenting.

Letting go of some dreams/goals.
You absolutely can keep chasing your dreams when you are a parent. But, lots of parents find themselves needing to let go of some of their biggest goals for awhile, because their child becomes priority.

The cost.
Kids are expensive. If your financial situation is already stretched, children can add a lot of stress on your financial security. But remember, if you want to parent, there are always ways to find financial support!

Adoption Pros

The choice is yours.
We are entering a modern era of adoption, where you can be as selective as you want. You have control – you don’t need to feel powerless.

You may feel it’s what’s best for your child.
If you are currently not ready to be a parent, for whatever reason, you may feel that adoption is what’s best for your child. You may want safer conditions at home, more financial security, or more life opportunities for your child – and this can make adoption a good option.

The freedom to pursue your dreams.
If you’re at a point in your life where you’re just not prepared to give up your goals & dreams, adoption allows you to pursue them. Of course parents can still pursue their dreams, but often parenting takes such priority that your own goals & dreams can be put on the back burner.

A community of supporters.
You will always have support from the adoption community. No matter what you’re going through – someone will always have your back.

Adoption Cons

The emotional toll.
This is the biggest, scariest con of adoption. This process involves all kinds of heavy emotions, and they can often be unpredictable.

The unknowns.
No matter how many people comfort you, or how much studying up you do, a lot will still feel unknown in adoption.

The fear of regret.
Whenever you’re making a massive life decision, a big part of the decision making process is the fear of regret. Adoption will most likely be one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make.

The feeling of judgement/isolation in society.
A lot of people still don’t get it. We’re trying to change this, but we still live in a world where people may judge your decision, or make you feel uncomfortable with their questions.

Adoption or Parenting – The Big Picture

Just remember – you do what you believe is right for your child. Don’t let anyone coarse or pressure you one way or the other.

Consider each option, the pros & cons, the questions you should ask yourself, and make sure you feel confident in your decision.