Expectant Moms

Brave Expectant MomsAsk for Help

No one expects you to do this alone. The Waiting Family you choose can offer you maternity-related expenses and more.

The PairTree 5% Fund Lifetime Support for Birth Moms

You are making a decision that will affect the rest of your life. That's why we donate 5% of every subscription to organizations that will provide you lifetime support.

2020 Recipient of the PairTree 5% Fund

Pick the Parent's Personality
with LifePair™

3/4 of our Birth Moms say knowing the Adoptive Parent’s personality type is as important to them as an Open Adoption.

PairTree is the only intelligent self-matching platform that shows you an adoptive parent’s personality type.

We use a special matching system that allows you to pick the personality type of the adoptive family – because personality is the greatest predictor of their future behavior. That gives you meaningful information about the potential parents, rather than just pretty pictures on a profile.


roll over the personalities to learn more

Why do Expectant Moms choose PairTree?

Most of the Expectant Moms that choose PairTree have been working with an adoption professional, but for whatever reason haven’t been presented with a family that feels “right.” Sound familiar?

More Choice

You get access to more families (throughout the entire US!), which means you can get very specific about what’s most important to you… personality type, location, education, interests, style, etc.

More Control

You get to determine who to talk with, when to reach out and how far the conversation goes without any pressure. Keep it going, or stop the conversation – whenever you want.

100% Free & Confidential

Start talking with families from the comfort of your couch. A PairTree account is 100% confidential and 100% free.

  • I didn’t know that meeting an adoptive family online like this was even an option. Makes it easy to see everyone together.

    D. Expectant Mom

  • I like seeing SO many families in one place - and that I get to pick who to talk with all on my own instead of someone telling me I have only a few to choose from.

    F. Expectant Mom

    What’s the difference between the Adoption Agency and Self-Matching methods?

    Erin Quick, Founder of PairTree and 2x Adoptive Mom (via self-matching) talks about the differences between the adoption agency method and the self-matching method.

    PairTreeHow does it work?

    Step 1 Join PairTree

    You register on PairTree.It’s fast, free, and 100% confidential.

    Step 2 Find Your Pair

    Browse & filter adoptive families based on what’s important to you. Message the families you’re interested in. A simple “Hi, I like your profile” is a great way to start.

    Step 3 Finalize the Adoption

    Once you've found a match, an Attorney or Agency will help you and the Adopting family to finalize the details – including living expenses and future contact agreements for you. (At no cost to you.)

    Connect with a Waiting Family today.

    Build your profile now!

    Have questions?

    FAQ for Expectant Moms

    • What is equitable adoption?
      For too long, adoptions have been unintentionally lop-sided. That’s one of the reasons we’re encouraging more equitable and ethical practices in adoption across the board. Birth Moms give the most, and get the least. Providing ongoing support for birth moms should be a standard, not an option that expires. That’s why PairTree started the 5% Fund – donating 5% of net profit to organizations taht provide lifetime support for Birth Moms. Learn about the 5% Fund
    • Do expectant moms or birth moms get paid?
      All birth moms are legally allowed a certain amount of living expenses – the amount will vary from state to state. Be sure to check your state adoption laws [link to state laws] to learn more about what qualifies as birth mom expenses. PairTree does not provide birth moms any compensation, nor do we facilitate or take any portion of any fees exchanged between an adoptive parent and birth mom.
    • I cannot pay for my expenses. Is there help?

      When talking with adopting families on PairTree, be sure they know you need help. It’s a normal part of the process, and is mandated by State law. They can put you in touch with their attorney or agency to start the process.

      If you do not already have health insurance, you may qualify for Medicaid. An adoption service professional (like an attorney, social worker or agency) should be able to help you secure coverage, whether you ultimately decide to place or not. (Don’t have an adoption service professional? Click here to find one.)

    • What is an “open” adoption?

      Today, the vast majority of infant adoptions in the U.S. have some degree of openness, which means that birth parent identities are not kept from the child or adoptive family, and there is often some agreed upon ongoing contact between birth and adoptive families.

      Contact in an open adoption may include the exchange of letters and photographs, phone calls, emails, visits – whatever you and the adoptive family are comfortable with.

    • If I choose adoption, how much contact can/will I have with my child and his/her adoptive family?

      The level of contact you have with your child and his/her adoptive family will depend on what all of you are comfortable with.

      That’s one of the advantages to PairTree. You can discuss and reach a mutual agreement over the future of your relationship directly with adopting families who want the relationship to work well for everyone. Asking to receive emails, texts, calls and/or visits are all completely normal requests.

      FWIW – as adoptive parents ourselves, we believe open relationships thrive in honest, flexible and respectful environments – by birth parents and adopting parents. And that the greatest beneficiary of an open and honest relationship between birth parent and adopting parents, is the child.

    • How will I feel after I place my baby for adoption?

      Experiences and emotions vary from parent to parent, but placing a child for adoption is never an easy decision for anyone. Even birth parents that feel very secure in their decision experience a real sense of grief and loss. This loss can only be worked through and reconciled if it is recognized, and if a birth parent receives the ongoing help and support she needs.

      All birth parents are entitled to understanding, counseling, and support. This is necessary to help heal, reconcile feelings, grieve during and after the adoption, and feel a sense of peace about the decision. Adoption may be a one-time legal event, but it has a lifelong impact for those involved, and it is different for each individual experiencing it, which is why PairTree developed the 5% FundLearn More

      If you’re looking for feedback directly from birth moms, we recommend a couple on Instagram:

      Ashley Mitchell / Big Tough Girl
      Adrian Collins
      Adoption Education Keys

    • I have more questions about adoption. Who can I talk to?

      A counselor or social worker in your area can help answer your questions. Find one in your area here. Learn More

    • What if the child’s father does not know and/or agree to the adoption?

      Tell the adopting parents right away. Their adoption agency or attorney must try their best to locate the expectant father and inform him of his rights. Expectant fathers’ rights vary from state to state. In some states the father may be required to be involved within a certain time frame to have parental rights and parent his child. If the expectant father supports the adoption and wants to be involved, he has a right to receive the same counseling and support as the expectant mother.

    • Will my child know who I am?

      That’s up to you. You can choose how much contact, if any, you would like to have with your child and his or her adoptive parents. The more honest and direct your relationship is with the adopting parents, the more flexibility you’ll have in this decision. Maybe you want to be very involved from the start, maybe you don’t know how much involvement you want, but want the option to decide later… the more honest you are about your feelings with the adopting parents, the better.

    • This is a huge decision for me. Getting to see the parent’s personality is really nice when you’re making such a big choice.

      R. Expectant Mom

    • I really connected with a family immediately. Found them, sent them a message and that was it. Easy, and right for me.

      D. Expectant Mom

      Find the waiting family that’s right for you.

      Our Adopting Families would love to hear from you. Start your search today – it's free and 100% confidential!

      & Reza

      • My favorite place in the World is...

        Montauk for sure. I have been coming since I was a kid then as an adult, with friends. I brought Elizabeth as our first weekend trip and now it's kind of our place. We visit all throughout the year. - Reza

      • If you could choose one type of food to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?

        Mexican forever! I could seriously eat it every day. - Elizabeth

      • Three years from now, I hope our birth mom is…..

        Thriving and happy in a supportive and safe environment surrounded by loved ones. - Elizabeth

      • We are the best choice because…

        We see this experience as finding the best fit, and recognize that won't be the same for everyone. Following ethical adoption practices is paramount to us through this process. - Reza

      & Tanya

      • If you could choose one type of food to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?

        My mothers chicken curry and my husband's delicious meaty steaks. Yummy, the thought of these dishes are making my stomach growl :) - Tanya

      • We are the best choice because…

        We put love and respect first. We are here to help and support you. We truly want to help and support someone else, we also really want to grow our family through adoption. Love always comes first. - Tanya

      • Do you have kids? How would they feel about a sibling?

        Yes, we have two kids ages 4 and 7 and they are both beyond excited to have your child join our family, they talk about it everyday. - Tanya

      • If I could change one thing about the World, it would be...

        I wish the world would be more kind to each other, and help others in need. We are all in this together by showing love and respect to one another we will make this world a better place. - Tanya

      & Jonathan

      • If you had to pick a famous person to play you in a movie, who would it be?

        Russell Crowe - Jonathan

      • If you had to live on an RV or sailboat for the rest of your life, which would it be?

        RV- I love the outdoors, but all of them. Not just the water. - Jonathan

      • I would never...

        want to hurt anyone. - Jonathan

      • What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you look at the night sky?

        The Seven Sisters/Pleiades. My step-mom, who is one of the most important people in my life, taught me to always look for the Seven Sisters in the sky. - Lindsay

      Join today to start connecting in minutes!

      You can do this!

      Get Started Today


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      Success Stories

      Did you find success on PairTree? We’d love to share your story to give hope to others.


      Are you looking to partner with PairTree to help our mission of making self-matching easier, ethical and enjoyable? Please contact our partnerships team.

      Press Inquiries

      For all media inquiries, please contact our press team.


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