The Adoption Guide for Hopeful Adoptive Dads

By PairTree

June 10, 2023

4m read

So much content regarding adoption is written for an adoptive family, or from an adoptive mom’s perspective. There is so little adoption information specifically for adoptive dads. No one really talks about being a hopeful adoptive dad and how hard it can be, especially in a season of waiting, so we hope this helps.

Just for our amazing hopeful adoptive dads out there, we scoured the internet and compiled a list of the best resources, perspectives, and advice, largely written by fellow adoptive dads!

Adoptive dad Jaime (and our founder Erin’s husband) says, “Now that’s all not to say there haven’t been confusing, trying, frustrating times throughout the process, but with the right approach, attitude, and knowledge, adoption is unlike anything else a man can experience in his life.”

An Adoptive Dad's Top Three Questions

In 'An Adoptive Dad's Top Three Questions', Adoptive Dad Jaime Quick shares his key topics to think about if you're a hopeful adoptive dad.

"I found that while the fear of rejection can cause us as adoptive dads to hold back on showing emotions (a traditionally “male” behavior), it’s that exact sharing of your excitement that can really make a special connection that expectant moms and dads are seeking when deciding on placement of their child."

What Does Being an Adoptive Father Mean to You

In 'What Does Being an Adoptive Father Mean to You,' four adoptive dad's share their perspective on the adoption process, the importance of birth father's in the journey, and supporting their adoptees in different ways.

Becoming an Adoptive Dad

'Becoming an Adoptive Dad' by Graham Milne chronicles his journey to fatherhood...and deciding if fatherhood was even in his future.

"I may not be passing on my genes, but I can pass on my values, my beliefs, the things I consider important to cherish in our ever-so-brief walk across this world."

10 Ways to Bond with Your Child as a Foster or Adoptive Dad

Variations Psychology shares 10 Ways to Bond with Your Child as a Foster or Adoptive Dad, stating "Being chosen as a foster or adoptive dad can be one of life’s most fulfilling experiences. But, it can also make a guy a little nervous. When the day comes for you to welcome your child to their new home, it’s normal to worry if you’ll be able to connect with them. The good news is, adoptive and foster fathers are able to form bonds just as strongly as bio-dads."

Insight & Tips on Being an Adoptive Father

UK adoptive dad Gavin Andres searched for male perspective info when navigating the adoption journey with his wife, and when he found none, he decided to write his own! Author of the book, 'You're The Daddy We Wanted', Gavin shares his 'Insight & Tips on Being an Adoptive Father', emphasizing the importance of making time for yourself and your partner during the adoption journey.

How I Messed Everything Up

Holt International's Senior Vice President for U.S. Foster Care and Adoption reflects on his mistakes as a parent and shares his wisdom in 'How I Messed Everything Up: One Dad (and Granddad’s) Advice for Adoptive & Foster Parents'. Understanding the importance of accepting kids as individuals, navigating traumatic backgrounds, and listening to adult adoptees are key for developing healthy relationships.

An Adoptive Father's Perspective on the Adoption Process

Adoptive Dad Matthew chronicles his journey through the adoption process, from waiting for "the call" to advice for those considering adoption as the path to grow your family. He and his wife worked with Adoptions From The Heart and he shares his story on their blog, 'An Adoptive Father's Perspective on the Adoption Process.'

By confronting our concerns or fears or conservative profile, we learned more about what was driving our choices and helped us see more opportunities for placement.

Adoption: A Father's Perspective

Kristina Frazier interviews her husband Ryan and shares their story in 'Adoption: A Father's Perspective'. Her inspiration for sharing Ryan's voice and perspective is the same as ours - the saturation of an adoptive mom's voice, and lack of an adoptive dad's in the adoption community. Kristina shares, "Adoptive dads are often their families’ backbones, quietly but firmly holding each piece together. Whether your family is looking to adopt, are in the trenches and nearly home, or have been home for a long while, you can see the importance of making sure adoptive fathers are supported."

Adoption is a Fight!

Adoptive father Ryan remembers their journey through disrupted adoptions, but ultimately shares that while adoption is a rollercoaster, it's worth fighting for. 'Adoption is a Fight! Open Adoption from an Adoptive Father's Perspective' highlights the importance of keeping faith on your journey, and having a strong support system.

"Yes, adoption is a fight, a worthwhile fight; and with God in your corner, all things are possible."

Funding Love Podcast

Funding Love Podcast hosts Mal and Kate chat with their husbands Tim and Adam about fatherhood and adoption. In 'A Father's Day Special with our Favorite Adoptive Dads and their Honest Stories About Hesitations of Adopting', both men share their initial hesitations of wanting to adopt. They bravely verbalize the things that many people feel embarassed or shameful to admit, and share how those feelings have changed or shifted throughout the process.

Infant Adoption Guide Podcast

In a two-part episode, Infant Adoption Guide founder and host Tim Elder interviews a panel of adoptive dads and share's a guys view on infant adoption. In Episode One, they share tips and advice for going through the adoption process and a dad's view on open adoption. Episode Two covers how to support each other on your journey and more tips and advice for hopeful adoptive dads!

Adoptive Dad Playbook

Host David Bishline is a dad of three biological sons, in the process of adopting a little girl. On Adoptive Dad Playbook, he shares what is's like for a dad to go on the adoption journey - from his own personal experiences to new guests each week encompassing foster parents, international adoption and domestic infant adoption.

Real talk for men on the adoption and parenting journey or have been on the adoption and parenting journey. Having honest and open conversation and experiences from dads that have walked through it before.

Infant Adoption Guide

While it's so important to acknowledge and shed a light on the adoption process from a father's perspective, it's also helpful to share how husbands can support their wives on an adoption journey. So often, wives are the one doing the research, calling agencies, making appointments - all while getting frustrated and feeling alone in the process. Infant Adoption Guide host Tim Elder shares 5 Ways a Husband Can Support his Wife on the Adoption Journey.

Adoptive Dad Panel

In this webinar, Lifetime Adoption hosts a Panel of Dads, featuring two adoptive dads to share their own personal adoption stories and answer questions from other families waiting to adopt. Learn more about being an adoptive parent, the adoption process from a guy's perspective, and what open adoption looks like for them.

Explore more news, resources, and perspectives for Adoptive Dads.

PairTree PairTree is an adoption enablement platform that provides connections to the services families need to healthily navigate private adoption.