The Ultimate Adoption Reading List

The Ultimate Adoption Reading List

Children’s Books

Children’s books are one of the best tools adoptive parents have to help navigate the complexities of adoption. Reading children’s books about adoption from birth helps young kids become familiar with adoption and their adoption story from an early age, and make sure your library includes books that represent all members of the adoption triad. This will help you to normalize adoption in your home.

There are many more warm and loving children's books about adoption, but these are our favorites - encompassing the perspectives of all members of the triad and acknowledging that adoption can be both/and.

Growing Grace

By Erin Mason

Written from a birth mothers perspective, "Growing Grace" beautifully shows the journey of a birth mother, the incredibly complex decision she has to make, and the immeasurable love a birth mother has for her child. It’s important to show a child their origin story, not just their story from the moment they came home with you.

Surrounded by Love: An Open Adoption Story

By Allison Olson

This incredible children's book (written by an adoptee and adoptive mom) shares one family's adoption journey through the help of an adorable, wise owl…making it fun, engaging and relatable for young kids. Talking about adoption in your home doesn’t always have to be a monumental task, even though it may feel like that some days.

Be sure to check out our Adopting Families Support Group with Allison Olson, adult adoptee, adoptive mom, and author of Surrounded by Love, where we discuss how to talk to your kids about adoption, how her children's book can help, and how to normalize adoption in your home.

Tell Me My Story: What Does Adopted Mean?

By Raquel McCloud

The first in the "Tell Me My Story" series, this sweet book captures the way a young child might begin to process their adoption story, and all of the complex questions and big emotions to come. Relatable, educational, supportive, and thoughtful, What Does Adopted Mean? is a tool to help normalize adoption conversations in your home at any age.

The ABC’s of Adoption

By Raquel McCloud

The "ABC's of Adoption" gives an age-appropriate explanation of some common adoption terms that may be difficult for young kids to understand. Utilize this book to help create conversations that are both natural and necessary as your kiddo begins to process how adoption is woven into their own story.

Adoption is Both

By Elena S. Hall

Written for younger adoptees, and their families, this children’s book acknowledges that adoption is both happy and sad, and that it’s okay to be happy and a little sad about their adoption sometimes. This book aims to provide you and your family with a guide to start conversations around the complexities of adoption.

Forever Fingerprints

By Sherri Eldridge

For adoptees, learning about and understanding their adoption is a process - not a single conversation. This heartwarming story uses an everyday occurrence of a family member's pregnancy to begin a discussion about birth families, first families and an adoptee's birth story.

Tell Me Again About the Night I was Born

By Jamie Lee Curtis

Focusing on the significance of family and love, this is a unique and beautiful story about adoption and the importance of a loving family. A beautiful adoption story, "Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born" also speaks to the universal childhood desire to know more about the excitement, awe, love, and sleeplessness that a new baby brings to a family.

A Mother for Choco

By Keiko Kasza

Family is about love no matter how different parents and children may be, adopted or not. This classic story has become one of the most highly recommended stories about adoption for children.

The Mulberry Bird: An Adoption Story

By Ann Braff Brodzinsky

In this classic adoption picture book for children, common issues in adoption are addressed―from the enduring force of a birth parent's love and contact post-adoption to the importance of nurturing an adopted child in his or her new environment. It is a timeless and enduring tale of sacrifice, wisdom and love.

History & Education

We’re big believers in knowing where we’ve been, so we can have a better understanding of where we’re going…and what needs to change. The history of adoption is dark and buried in secrecy, but filled with stories of strength. By understanding adoptions sordid history and educating ourselves, even when it’s hard to take in, we are poised to become better adoptive parents, adoption professionals, and allies.

Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations from Adoptees, Birth Parents, Adoptive Parents and Allies

By Sara Easterly, Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, & Lori Holden

The most important book in modern adoption, "Adoption Unfiltered" is a book that will impact adoption for generations to come. Filled with interviews from over 50 members of the adoption constellation, with adoptee voices at the center, Adoption Unfiltered sheds light on uncomfortable truths and inspires change in adoption. It often isn’t easy to find common ground in adoption, but these incredible authors come together from all sides of the adoption triad and include all voices in the adoption constellation to bring truth, transparency, and healing to support adoptees, birth families and adoptive families.

For more insights and education, check out the Adoption Unfiltered podcast.

American Baby: A Mother, A Child, and the Shadow History of Adoption

By Gabrielle Glaser

The shocking truth about postwar adoption in America, told through the bittersweet story of one teenager, the son she was forced to relinquish, and their search to find each other. "American Baby" illuminates a dark time in our history and shows a path to reunion that can help heal the wounds inflicted by years of shame and secrecy.

The Girls Who Went Away: The History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe V. Wade

By Ann Fessler

"The Girls Who Went Away" is not only a historical account but also a testament to the resilience and strength of the women who lived through the darkest time in adoption. Through Fessler's compassionate storytelling, the book brings to the forefront the lasting legacy of this hidden social history and its impact on the lives of those involved, sharing the stories of over 100 women who surrendered children in the years before Roe v. Wade.

Through Adopted Eyes

By Elena S. Hall

"Through Adopted Eyes" explores the world of adoption from the viewpoint of adoptees. Russian adoptee Elena S. Hall shares her own story and thoughts on the subject of adoption in addition to interviews from other adoptees of different ages, heritages, and perspectives. Whether you are an adoptive parent, curious about adoption, or an adoptee yourself, this unique collection of memoirs provides real insight into lives directly impacted by adoption.

The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption

By Kathryn Joyce

"The Child Catchers" is a shocking exposé of what the adoption industry has become and how it got there, told through deep investigative reporting and the heartbreaking stories of individuals who became collateral damage in a market driven by profit and, now, faith based commands.

20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

By Sherrie Eldridge

As an adoptee, Sherrie Eldridge knows firsthand the need for a safe space to ask questions and access to the most basic of information. This incredible book gives a voice to unspoken fears and concerns of adopted children and helps guide adoptive parents on how to create a space for their children to ask questions without shame or fear.

You can listen to an interview with author Sherrie Eldridge on the Creating a Family podcast: Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

The Children Money Can Buy

By Anne Moody

"The Children Money Can Buy" illuminates the worlds of foster care and adoption through the personal stories Moody witnessed and experienced in her many years working in the foster care and adoption systems. These compelling stories about real people and situations illustrate larger life lessons about the way our society values—and fails to value—parents and children.

Listen to Erin’s interview with Anne Moody as they talk about chapter 26 (adoption scams) in The Children Money Can Buy.

Also by Anne Moody, The Baby Market: The Case for Adoption Reform.

The Open Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole

By Lori Holden

Through their own stories and those of other families of open adoption, Lori and Crystal review the secrets to success, the pitfalls and challenges, the joys and triumphs. More than a how-to, this book shares a mindset, a heartset, that can be learned and internalized, so parents can choose to act out of love and honesty throughout their child’s growing up years, helping that child to grow up whole.

You can learn more from Lori on her podcast, Adoption: The Long View.

Hole in My Heart: Love and Loss in the Fault Lines of Adoption

By Lorraine Dusky

In "Hole in My Heart", the author uses her skills as a journalist to report on the social history and long-term consequences of family separation. If you like true stories with strong women narrators, you’ll love Lorraine Dusky’s timely and heart-rending memoir about motherhood, identity and love.

Dear Birthmother

By Kathleen Silber & Phylis Speedlin

A collection of heartfelt and sincere letters expressing gratitude from adoptive parents to the birthmothers who made the difficult decision to entrust them with the care of their babies. This open adoption guide provides an emotional and personal insight into the complex and often emotional journey of adoption.

Before You Adopt: A Guide to the Questions You Should be Asking

By Christa Jordan

This workbook is filled with all of the essential questions pre-adoptive parents need to ask themselves before pursuing adoption, including the different types of adoption, selecting the right agency, managing expectations, and important conversations to have with each other and those around you.

In On It

By Elisabeth O'Toole

The adoption book everyone else needs to read, “In On It” is full of helpful advice and guidance for talking about adoption to your friends and family…and everyone else in your life.

We Were Once A Family: A Story of Love, Death, and Child Removal in America

By Roxanna Asgarian

Roxanna Asgarian's “We Were Once a Family” is a revelation of vulnerable lives; it is also a shattering exposé of the foster care and adoption systems that produced this tragedy. The result is a riveting narrative and a deeply reported indictment of a system that continues to fail America’s most vulnerable children while upending the lives of their families.

To read more about “We Were Once a Family,” check out our blog post!

The Primal Wound

By Nancy Newton Verrier

This book delves into the psychological and emotional impact of separation between birth mothers and their adopted children, exploring what Verrier refers to as the "primal wound." Focused on the experience of adopted individuals, the book dives into the profound effects of early separation from birth parents and the ensuing challenges faced by adoptees.

Birth Parents

An often silenced member of the adoption triad, birth parents have a voice that needs to be heard. These books are all heart-breaking, inspirational, and educational, and share the deeply personal journeys and memoirs of birth mothers. Listening to and learning from birth mothers brings to life the women behind the loss.

Finding Hope

By Hope O. Baker

In this love letter to her son, Hope shows how messy and chaotically beautiful adoption can be, by sharing the authentic details of her remarkable story. From her struggles, you’ll see how your community can help you rebuild and be reminded of how important it is to find your voice and speak up for what you need when life hands you unexpected difficulties.

The Sixteenth Year: An Open Adoption Memoir

By Leah Outten

Leah pulls you into her story as she shares her heart. Vulnerable and tender, "The Sixteenth Year" offers a raw look into her story, not only through pregnancy and adoption but as a testimony of how God has used broken pieces of her life to heal and grow. From pre-pregnancy to life today and her bond with her teenage daughter, you’ll be inspired by her steps of faith, the grace discovered within her journey, and the transformational approach to adoption.

To follow more of Leah's story, you can follow her on Instagram.

Mine, Yours, & Ours

By Michelle Thorne

Written to inform and encourage adoptive (or hoping to be) parents, it gives a why and how to navigate these important relationships by recognizing and revealing the life-long connection between birth and adoptive parents.

Surrender: A Memoir of Nature, Nurture, and Love

By Marylee MacDonald

Both an adoptee and a birth mother, Marylee shares her story with the son she placed for adoption after being sent away to hide her pregnancy. Now she explores the question of nature vs. nurture - which one plays a greater role in who we become?

God and Jetfire: Confessions of a Birth Mother

By Amy Seek

"God and Jetfire" is the rare memoir that explores the intricate dynamics and exceptional commitment of an open-adoption relationship from the perspective of a birth mother searching for her place within it. God and Jetfire is a story of a life divided between grief and gratitude, regret and joy and a reflection on lost motherhood, a celebration of a family gained, and an apology to a beloved son.

Transracial Adoptees

Transracial adoptees often face an added layer of complexity in their adoption story - being adopted by and raised in home with a family of a different race than their own. As adoptive parents, listening to and learning from the lived experiences of transracial adoptees can better prepare you for the complexities of cross-cultural adoption.

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity & Transracial Adoption

By Angela Tucker

In “You Should Be Grateful,” Tucker centers the experiences of adoptees to share deeply personal stories, well-researched history, and engrossing anecdotes from mentorship sessions with adopted youth. These perspectives challenge the fairy-tale narrative of adoption, giving way to a fuller story that explores the impacts of racism, classism, family, love, and belonging.

Angela Tucker is the founder of the Adoptee Mentoring Society, and the host of The Adoptee Next Door podcast.

What White Parents Should Know About Transracial Adoption

By Melissa Guida-Richards

Written by Melissa Guida-Richards--a transracial, transnational, and late-discovery adoptee--this book unpacks the mistakes you don't even know you're making and gives you the real-life tools to be the best parent you can be, to the child you love more than anything.

All You Can Ever Know

By Nicole Chung

With warmth, candor, and startling insight, Nicole Chung tells of her search for the people who gave her up, which coincided with the birth of her own child. This beloved memoir "is an extraordinary, honest, nuanced and compassionate look at adoption, race in America and families in general".

Motherhood So White: A Memoir of Race, Gender, and Parenting in America

By Nefertiti Austin

Starting a family through adoption as a single Black woman, Nefertiti Austin doesn’t hold back as she shares her personal journey to parenthood. This must-read memoir examines the history and stigma of adoption in the African American community and the stereotypes of single motherhood as a Black woman.

Inconvenient Daughter

By Lauren J. Sharkey

With a fresh voice and a quick wit, Lauren J. Sharkey dispels the myths surrounding transracial adoption, the ties that bind, and what it means to belong. This novel tells the story of Rowan, a woman adopted by a White couple from Korea as a baby, and follows her journey through self-discovery, identity and belonging.

Surviving the White Gaze: A Memoir

By Rebecca Carroll

Everything changed when she met her birth mother, a young White woman, who consistently undermined Carroll’s sense of her blackness and self-esteem. Carroll’s childhood became harrowing, and her memoir explores the tension between the aching desire for her birth mother’s acceptance, the loyalty she feels toward her adoptive parents, and the search for her racial identity.

Prison Baby

By Deborah Jiang Stein

A deeply personal and inspiring memoir recounting one woman's struggles--beginning with her birth in prison - to find self-acceptance. Ultimately, Deborah overcame the stigma, shame, and secrecy of her birth and found peace by helping others - proving that redemption and acceptance is possible, even from the darkest corners.

Somebody’s Daughter: A Memoir

By Ashley Ford

"Somebody’s Daughter" steps into the world of growing up a poor Black girl in Indiana with a family fragmented by incarceration, exploring how isolating and complex such a childhood can be. As Ashley battles her body and her environment, she embarks on a powerful journey to find the threads between who she is and what she was born into, and the complicated familial love that often binds them.

Growing Up Black in White

By Kevin Hoffman

This is a story of hope and promise, and how we can define ourselves not through the racism and judgments of a challenging society, but through our own sense of self-respect and personal identity.

Former Foster Youth

If you’re a foster parent, considering becoming a foster parent, or adopting a child that has been in the foster care system, the perspectives of former foster youth are the most important voices you can learn from. These books are hard to read… filled with trauma, heartbreak, and impossible stories - but above all, they are stories of strength, perseverance, and hope.

Fostered: One Woman's Powerful Story of Finding Faith and Family Through Foster Care

By Tori Hope Peterson

Filled with faith, strength, and perseverance, Fostered is the true story of an unlikely overcomer. Navigating twelve different foster homes during her young life and fighting against stereotypes, Tori had the odds stacked against her - but through her faith, she persevered and shares her story as a fierce advocate for foster care reform.

Set Free

By Destini McAlister

Born into a family saturated with generational trauma, Destini’s case file with child protective services began when she was only seven months old. In her own words and unique perspective, Destini shares her vivid and detailed memories of her experience navigating child abuse, kinship care, foster care and finding a future despite the broken pieces of the past.

Dear Wonderful You

By Diane Rene Christian & Dr. Mei-Mei Akwai Ellerman

"Dear Wonderful You, Letters to Adopted & Fostered Youth" is a powerful book filled with thoughtful and inspiring letters. This anthology was written by a global community of adult adoptees and adults who were fostered. Each letter was penned to the upcoming generation of adopted and fostered youth.

The Son With Two Moms

By Tony Hynes

After being separated from his mother, who suffered from schizophrenia, Tony was shuffled from his grandmother's home to an orphanage. After a tumultuous court battle, he found permanency - but the trials and tribulations were far from over.

Ward of the State: A Memoir of Foster Care

By Karlos Dillard

A rollercoaster of emotion, "Ward of the State" tells the story of a young black boy from inner city Detroit removed from his home and placed into foster care, only to be treated worse and shuffled between foster homes. Driven solely by his will to survive and hope to find a family that loved him, Karlos’ memoir is a harrowing tale of perseverance.

Support & Inspiration

We could all use a little extra support sometimes, especially if you’re on an adoption journey. These thoughtful and inspirational books will help lift you up when you need it most.

Refuel Your Wait: Find Hope and Overcome Fear While Adopting

By Laci Richter

Laci Richter is an adoptive mom of two who wrote "Refuel Your Wait" to help inspire other waiting adoptive parents to “find hope and overcome fear while adopting.” This book utilizes stories of infertility, adoption and all that it entails to encourage readers to not view the wait as something negative, but instead as a time to focus on relationships, prayer, and preparing for the next step in life.

You can hear more from Laci on her podcast, The Adoption Wait.

Tandem

By Alison England

"Tandem" is different from other adoption devotionals, in that it follows a chronological flow that provides adoptive parents tools and resources in bite-size pieces to tackle each task with faith-based confidence. You will feel the momentum in your adoption build. Tandem is forward-moving, with each chapter taking you closer to your child.

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish: A Daily Devotional for Adoptive and Birth Parents

By Sherrie Eldridge

For a little extra inspiration on those difficult days, Sherrie Eldridge created a daily devotional for adoptive and birth parents, "Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish". Filled with 365 days of devotions and prompts, this book is designed to encourage families and offer strength during every season of the adoption journey.

Post-Placement Support

As adoptive parents, your journey doesn’t end at finalization…in fact, that’s when the real work begins. These books will help support you as your kiddos grow up and have more complex questions about their stories, explore their identities, and navigate grief and loss in adoption.

Beneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted Teens

By Debbie Riley

A fantastic, eloquent, evidence-based, inspiring book that discusses the difficulties that many adopted adolescents experience and their emotional and behavioral struggles. This book also delves into some of the challenges adoptive parents face when raising their children, that aren’t always discussed when embarking on an adoption journey.

Reimagining Adoption: What Adoptees Seek from Families and Faith

By Sally Ankerfelt & Gayle H. Swift

"Reimagining Adoption" lifts up the words and lived experience of adult adoptees - the true experts on adoption - and braids them with the insights of adoptive families to craft a new adoption perspective.

The Adoptive Parents Handbook: A Guide to Healing Trauma and Thriving with Your Foster or Adopted Child

By Barbara Tantrum

Written for parents of adopted and foster kids of all ages, this book offers resources for handling common concerns like sleep issues, food sensitivities, anger, fear, and reactivity. It also provides guidance on navigating transracial adoptions, working through parents' own hang-ups, and recognizing signs of developmental and psychological conditions.

20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed

By Sherri Eldridge

In the companion to “20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew”, Eldridge shifts her focus from adoptee voices to adoptive parents, offering them much-needed encouragement, hope, and guidance.

Thriving Families: A Trauma-Informed Guidebook for the Foster and Adoptive Journey

By Jenn Ranter Hook & Joshua N. Hook, PhD.

A practical roadmap for foster and adoptive families. Drawing on the latest science and research on trauma, attachment, sensory processing difficulties, cultural competence, and grief and loss, authors Josh and Jenn Hook provide a trauma-informed approach to help adoptive and foster families—and the church called to care for the vulnerable in our midst—to help their children heal, grow, and thrive.

This list encompasses books written by adoptees, birth parents, adoption professionals, and adoptive parents, but there are so many other incredible books out there.

The biggest mistake we make in adoption is not listening to other voices and perspectives, even when it's hard to hear. When we know better, we do better and always continuing our education allows us to show up in the healthiest way possible.