A pregnant woman sits cross-legged on her couch, hand on her belly, laptop in her lap.

Should I Parent or Make an Adoption Plan?

By PairTree

November 28, 2022

2m read

Unexpected pregnancies lead to countless scary questions. One of the big ones is, should I parent or make an adoption plan? We provide some important questions you should ask yourself.

Questions to Ask Yourself About Parenting

Do I feel ready to be a parent?
Let us be clear here – most people don’t feel ready to be a parent before becoming one. But, do you feel close to being ready? Do you want to be ready? Don’t forget, there are always resources to prepare you.

Is my home a safe environment for a child?
You want to make sure you are bringing a child into an environment that
is safe for both you and the baby. Beyond just feeling secure in your home, you should also think about baby proofing your home.

Is being a parent something I’ve wanted?
Were you someone who grew up always wanting to be a parent? Has it been a dream of yours for a long time? These are important questions to ask yourself. Just remember, there’s no shame if the answer is no! Not everyone feels called to be a parent.

What is my current financial situation?
Babies are…expensive. Feeling financially stable is important when making the decision to parent, but of course money should never be the deciding factor on whether or not to be a parent. If you are single and wanting to be parent, find out more about financial support here.

Do I feel supported?
You’re going to need support. You’ve all heard the phrase, “it takes a village,” and, it’s true. Not feeling supported? Find some support groups here.

Do I want to be a parent…now?
Here it is – the big question. The most important one. Do you want to be a parent at this stage of your life? If the answer to this is yes, then know there are resources available to help you be the best parent you can be.

Questions to Ask Yourself About Adoption

Do I have a good understanding of how adoption works?
It’s important to feel confident about what adoption entails before getting too far in the process. For example, did you know that 95% of adoptions are open – meaning you’ll have some level of connection to your child and Adopting Family?

Am I emotionally prepared for adoption?
Adoption is an emotional process. Other birth moms have described it as a roller coaster. You need to be prepared for good and bad emotions. Want to hear what other birth mothers have said about it?…click here.

Do I have a support system in place?
This process can be emotionally heavy, but remember – you don’t have to go it alone. You will definitely want a support system if you decide to go through the adoption process.

What kind of adoption would I want? Open? Semi-open? Closed?
As you learn more about adoption and the adoption process, you will want to start deciding what type of adoption you would like to pursue. The more open an adoption is, the more contact you will have with your baby and the Adopting Family.

Do I feel confident in this decision?
Okay, you’ve done some research, you’ve found a support system – are you feeling confident in this decision? Make sure to take time alone to think and journal, and allow yourself to reflect on where you’re at and how you feel.

Do I want to pursue an adoption plan?
The big one – do you want to pursue an adoption plan? If the answer to this question is yes, know the resources exist for you to feel supported & cared for during this process.


What you want is the most important thing. Hands down. Full stop. No matter what you choose, there are people and organizations to help!

At the end of the day, you need to make the decision that feels right for you.

Talk to your people. Consult those you trust. But make sure to take some quiet time to do some research, journal, and figure out what it is you want for this child.

PairTree PairTree is an adoption enablement platform that provides connections to the services families need to healthily navigate private adoption.